Fix your eyes

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." -- Leo Tolstoy

“The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.” ~ I Timothy 1:15-16

Do you know someone who cannot keep a secret? When I just posed that question to you I am sure the image of one or more people immediately came to mind. What is probably worse yet is that we all have probably had the excruciating experience of sharing a secret or something of a very personal nature with someone only to have that confidence betrayed.

I am going to let you in on something. It is not something I am proud of, but I admit it freely. I am a sinner and I commit sins every day. I am not being flippant and I do not take this fact lightly. On the contrary it pains me greatly. It bothers me because I know that the Bible teaches that God abhors sin, and just one sin, no matter how insignificant or inconsequential I may think it is, is an affront to God. It also pains me because I know my sin grieves the indwelling Holy Spirit, and I am daily reminded through the Gospel that my salvation came at a terrible price in the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. I have a debt I can never repay and a salvation from God’s wrath and the punishment of hell that I so rightly deserve. I have a salvation that I can never earn nor deserve and because of this any sin I commit is an insult to that gift.

The Apostle Paul knew that his past was not a secret to anyone and he humbly admitted that he was the chief of sinners. He did not try to hide behind any self righteousness of what he did for the Lord after His conversion. We know from the record in scripture he did more to further the message of the Gospel than any of us will likely do in our life time. Paul did not trot out any of his accomplishments for God and his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and wave it around in shameless self promotion. He knew he was chief of sinners and this drove him on a daily basis to live out his salvation for the glory and honor of the One who earned his redemption.

In Romans 7 Paul has a very telling confession of his struggle to live out the Gospel. He shares in verse 15 how he doesn’t understand his own actions and acknowledges that he does things that he himself hates. And in verse 18 he states unequivocally that he knows that nothing good dwells in him. Here is a man who could echo I Peter 2:9 and honestly and truthfully state that he had proclaimed the excellencies of the risen Lord, but he did not parade that as his means to judge the sins of others and was totally focused on working out his own salvation with fear and trembling, (Philippians 2:12)

The Apostle Paul is the author of the letter to the church at Galatia and one of the most recognized verses from this epistle is Galatians 2:20 where he talks about being crucified with Christ. In his book “My Utmost for His Highest” Oswald Chambers wrote about this passage and also Romans 6:6 where Paul states; “We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.” Chambers writes; “Co-crucifixion. Have you made the following decision about sin—that it must be completely killed in you? It takes a long time to come to the point of making this complete and effective decision about sin. It is, however the greatest moment in your life once you decide that sin must die in you—not simply be restrained, suppressed, or counteracted, but crucified—just as Jesus Christ died for the sin of the world. No one can bring anyone else to this decision. We may be mentally and spiritually convinced, but what we need to do is actually make the decision Paul urged us to do in this passage.”

Have you and I reached a point in our Christian walk where we care more about presenting ourselves as living sacrifices, holy and acceptable to God, (Romans 12:1), rather than looking to our right or our left and comparing ourselves to others? Are we more focused on whether or not others are toeing the line than searching our own hearts on a daily basis for any sin that we may be holding on to? Are we more concerned with working out our own salvation with fear and trembling or are we worried that someone somewhere is getting away with something that we think is wrong? Are we jealous for God or just jealous that they are doing something that deep down inside our heart we secretly wish we could do?

Are you and I more concerned with the sins of others or the world than we are our own? Are we trying to shift our gaze onto others to avoid looking at ourselves because we are afraid of what we will find...or do we already know our own dirty little secret? While I am concerned about my fellow Christians and I desire that they are growing in grace and truth, my first and primary focus should be inward, and asking God to see if there be any wicked way in me. You and I can both be thankful that Jesus Christ is the author and finisher of our faith and not one another...I am crucified with Christ; yet not I but Christ lives in me.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if [there be any] wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” ~ Psalm 139:23-24

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." ~ Hebrews 12:1-2