A word fitly spoken

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” ~ Proverbs 25:11

“Just a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down in the most delightful way.” ~ Mary Poppins

I get the impression sometimes that the world is filled with people who think it is their mission in life to criticize or tell others just what they are doing wrong. Every day when you turn on the television or radio your senses are assaulted with “nattering nabobs of negativism”; an apropos and alliterative phrase coined by William Safire. Sadly the church appears to have our share of people (including myself) who are Olympic gold medalists in negativity and Hall of Fame caliber criticizers. It is far more difficult to look for evidence of grace, encourage or build up our fellow believers than I think we realize. We are quick to point out what others are doing wrong rather than motivating or lifting them up by telling them what they are doing right.

The Apostle Paul was a world-class encourager and he knew first hand how to speak life into those he loved. He knew and lived out “the mouth of a righteous man is a fountain of life” (Proverbs 10:11) and that a “gentle tongue is a tree of life.” Paul knew that encouragement can bring about change and that a fitly spoken word can be a source of great motivation to someone going through the difficulties of life.

We often gloss over the first verses in the Pauline epistles so we can get to the meat of the doctrine and teaching that Paul was giving to the 1st century church. But if we do we can miss what Chip Ingram calls the “untapped resource in the body of Christ.” If you take the time to read the introductory verses of Romans, Corinthians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Thessalonians, Timothy and Titus you will see that in each case Paul is acknowledging his thankfulness for the recipients, the evidence of grace in their lives and that they were in his thoughts and prayers. He calls them saints and beloved of God or he tells them that he thanks God for them and their testimony. In each case he is building them up with the “spoon full of sugar” before he has to give them “the medicine” of doctrine, correction and challenging them to walk worthy of their calling. He earned his voice with them, and because of this they were willing to listen.

I tuned into the radio broadcast this week of “Living on the Edge” with Chip Ingram and he talked about how Paul was a masterful encourager even when he himself was in dire straits. Ingram stated that “we grossly underestimate the awesome power of an affirmative word” and also that “we grossly underestimate how deeply those around us are hurting.” He specifically referenced Paul’s introduction in I Thessalonians and how Paul bestowed a blessing on his fellow believers, told them how much he appreciated them, and gave affirmation by commending them for their testimony for who they are and what they have done for the sake of the Gospel. Ingram said you can see Paul’s love and care for his fellow believers in his choice of words and his gratefulness for their endurance in the faith.

How do we put this into practice with each other? Let people know you are praying for them and care enough to ask them if God has answered that prayer. Tell them that you are glad that God is using them and that you know He will use them. Express your appreciation to your Sunday school teacher for taking the time to prepare his lesson faithfully each week and better yet tell your kids SS teacher, nursery worker or children’s church worker how much you appreciate what they are doing. Tell them you are praying for them and actually follow through. When someone comes to mind and you pray for them, drop them a note or an email and let them know. For me personally that knowledge has made an immeasurable impact on my life, and spurred me on to remain faithful.

Without a doubt believers in the Gospel of Jesus Christ need to challenge one another with right living and sound doctrine. The one letter where Paul did not start out with any encouragement is his letter to the church of Galatia because they were in doctrinal error and departing from and adding to the Gospel. But again, Paul had earned his voice with them because he was personally involved in their lives and had built up some “street cred” with them.

Let’s face it; who wants to constantly be around or listen to a negative or critical person? It is no coincidence that the Apostle Paul used the imagery of a noisy gong or clanging cymbal to describe wisdom and correction without love. When we perceive that someone has nothing encouraging or positive to say we quickly tune them out and ignore them. The image I have in my mind is the sound Charles Schultz used to depict teachers and adults in the Charlie Brown stories; all we hear is “Waa wa wha wawawaw”. Let’s face it; as parents and couples it is far too easy to dwell on what our children and spouses do wrong as opposed to what they do right.

It is my fervent desire to speak life into those that I love and look for evidences of grace in my fellow believers. We need to encourage others and remind them that they are loved by Christ, that God is sovereign, that our salvation is secure and that God answers prayer. Our sole motivation to do so is that is how our Savior looks at us on a daily basis, His unlimited compassion and love for us, and the fact that even at His lowest moment dying on the Cross He exhibited that towards those that were responsible for putting Him there. Earn your voice just as Jesus Christ has earned His in your life.

“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” ~ Colossians 3:12-15